consequences of breaking marriage vows
C Then the dragon became furious with the woman and went off to make war on the rest of her offspring, on those who keep the commandments of God and hold to the testimony of Jesus. (I was also dealing with some mental health issues at the time, for what it is worth.) And we worked very, very hard on it. If He did not keep His vows, we would have to consider Him a liar, right? If youve had thoughts of breaking your marriage covenant, Id like encourage you right now tochooseto stay in your marriage. Years ago, a promise to marry an individual was treated just like any other binding contract. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. O I simply cannottake the time to answer each of you individually anymore. So what if someone has made a vow/oath to God and decides to break it? Exodus 21:10-11 (ESV) Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? Upholding and honoring marriage is not going to be accomplished by shaming and opposing divorce as much as it is by our gracious and firm commitment to upholding wedding-day vows of love, nurture, care, and faithfulness. Being untruthful often signals insecurity, and it becomes a tool for a married couple to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. God calls us to covenant faithfulness. When you cry I will comfort you. A seemingly perfect home gets shattered by broken trust and infidelity, bringing forth catastrophic effects into the lives of the couple, their son, and everyone else involved. This even happened to people in the Bible. If this occurs, pray to God, and ask Him to help you through. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, You shall not covet.. I went tonight actually. In the former, we are to forgive and "bear with one another in love." 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To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.. (Maybe if they did there would be less divorces.) Some days it feels like it while others it seems like a blessing. Foolish vows, based on sin, that should never be made are occurring more and more frequently today. "I know," one woman wrote. There is some debate from the text as to whether or not Jephthah fulfilled his vow or not, but whether or not he did, it was still a foolish vow. We need to mourn the sins we commit when we fail to keep our vows to our spouses before we lament the "sin of divorce." He isforyou, not against you. A:Before we talk about breaking a vow/oath, lets discuss how serious it is to make one in the first place. When you become involved in another love relationship outside your marriage, you have violated your marital vow. 2 Numerous physicians have reported that pornography increases rates of erectile dysfunction, even for young men in their 20s and 30s. Following the recent release of her book, Unraveling: The End of a Christian Marriage, she moderates an online Facebook group for divorcees. And on the Sabbath day they went into the synagogue and sat down. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before God, but the doers of the law who will be justified. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Let me be clear: Marriage covenants are meant to be permanent, and sin is always to blame when a marriage ends in divorce. (Lev 5:4-5)(NASB) says, or if a person swears (makes a vow) thoughtlessly with his lips to do evil or to do good, in whatever matter a man may speak thoughtlessly with an oath, and it is hidden from him (he doesnt realize it), and then he comes to know it, he will be guilty in one of these. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her. And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 2. Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. Marriage counseling can help when lying is an issue, but even the best therapist cannot restore lost faith without the couple's commitment to working through it. Discovering that the person you love is dishonest cuts deep. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted. We need to realize that the consequences of breaking a covenant we made before God are very serious and sobering (Proverbs 6:20-29). I had unquestioningly internalized the phrase "the sin of divorce." What shall we say then? When I wrote this study many years ago, I had NO idea that making / breaking vows and oaths was such a HUGE issue for so many people. When a wife is in the habit of using abusive words on the husband, or a husband has become highly irresponsible in the care of the wife, and by extension, the family, violation of the vow is ongoing. Abandoning spouse in times of trials: a lot of spouses desert their marriage on the basis of sicknesses, poverty, loss of jobs or business failure. To the one who conquers I will give some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it., He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works. Repent and renounce all inner vows in Jesus' name. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this: I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you me". For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. From little white lies to devastating secrets, lies can destroy a marriage. Weve heard them so many times, in movies, on television, and of course at weddings, that we can recite them by heart: the basic marriage, Most of us dont realize that there is no legal reason to include these canonical words at the, . All this being said, I believe the primary reason why we are told not to make vows/oaths is because of the seriousness of doing so, and if we dont keep them, it will be a sin, and we will be a liar. (Judg 13-16) Samson was a Nazarite from birth, and had vows to God he was to keep as a Nazarite, but he broke many of them. Follow steps #3 and #4. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. (37) But let your communication be, Yea (Yes), yea; Nay (No), nay: whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. (Also see: James 5:12). But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. With Gossip of the Gospel, the Church Grows in Nepal, Southern Baptist Convention Disfellowships Saddleback Church. Therefore, the only solution for me was to start asking, What can we do to fix this? Hi Steve, this has probably already been answered above but I would like to know if you had anything to add: When I was in my teens, I went through a hyper-religious/ritualistic, hyper-legalistic period in my life. Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.. If one cannot keep the vow he has made, then as with all sins, he must confess his sin, repent of his sin, and ask for forgiveness. [ This article is also available in If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. He describes them as happiness, hope, moving towards something better, the assurance that you and your partner can do this, and the confidence that with honesty, truth, and transparency, your love will grow stronger from this day forward. vows and looking closely at what lies beneath this simple language of basic marriage vows. I have decided what to do, so that when I am removed from management, people may receive me into their houses. So, summoning his master's debtors one by one, he said to the first, How much do you owe my master? And he said to them, Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. Bronwyn Lea attended law school and seminary in her native South Africa before settling in California. In other words, if you say "until death," you should mean "until death.". A discussion on purity should not just be about whether a person is a virgin when they marry (even if they've done "everything but"), but about how they steward their sexuality throughout their lives. Hi Alex. I dont understand how that works, can you explain what repent means in this context? But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. As we said earlier, God did honor some vows made in the Bible, but there could be costly consequences if you dont keep your vow. I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part.. For example, our kids could (and often do) rebel in anger, we could face a loss of some friendships, we might not be able to serve in church the way we might like, our finances might be affected, etc They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. If you have made a vow to God, it is a serious thing. " Affairs are always a symptom of a bigger problem (s . Here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. After her marriage of almost 19 years unraveled, Corcoran grappled with pain, confusion, and shame. (23) You shall be careful to perform what goes out from your lips, just as you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God, what you have promised. How many of us have made a vow to God in a time of trouble and then failed to follow through on it? In (Num 6:9-12), God also makes some provision for the Nazarite who accidentally broke his or her vow. It reads: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Franais. Marriage is the basis for the family, and the family is the . The problem with sexual withholding in a marriage has far less to do with actually having or not having sex and much more to do with misunderstanding. When spouses deny each other the joy of sexual satisfaction, it is a violation of the marital vow. In stark contrast to God's faithfulness and care, Israel and Judah shamelessly disregarded the covenant: neglecting, abusing and betraying him. When you become involved in another love relationship outside your marriage, you have violated your marital vow. Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? Nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. Originally Answered: To Christians, what are the consequences of breaking a marriage vow? Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. The idea of choice is empowering and one to hold onto when you hit the inevitable rocky moments that can crop up in any marriage. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. Some common ones include infidelity, continual criticism or conflict, boredom, lack of connection or communication, or disagreeing on issues such as money, gender roles, or parenting. When he returned home victorious, his only daughter was the first to run out and greet him. The Damaging Effects Lying Has on a Marriage. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. Visit the Bible online to search for words if you dont know the specific passage yourre looking for. Something is touching about generations and generations of people saying the traditional wedding vows. Therefore, each subsequent time you do what you vowed not to do, it is like you never made the vow, becauseRead more , I made a vow that I would not drink alcohol anymore while in the hospital for a sinus headache/dehydration. Either way, trust is vital to an intimate relationship. January 05, 2022 09:14PM. Reassure your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Emotional abuse: this includes verbal abuse, sexual denial, lack of care and the like. I (Name) promise to you, (Name), before our family and friends, to stand by your side, to share and support your hopes and dreams. Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. Its a delight for sexual satisfaction in marriage. Anything done that is contrary to the well-being of your spouse is a violation of your marital vow. It would be difficult to grow a relationship if you dont have the trust that your partner will be there with you, through thick and thin. He also said to the disciples, There was a rich man who had a manager, and charges were brought to him that this man was wasting his possessions. Since then he has published a nonpartisan political advocacy book and hundreds of articles. 14. The principle here is clear for Christians: be careful about making vows, either to the Lord or to one another. The problem with little lies is that they often lead to another bigger lie to cover up the original one. Even where divorce is allowed, it is not commanded, and then it is still a tragedy. #2. And on the Sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed there was a place of prayer, and we sat down and spoke to the women who had come together. But above all things, my brethren, swear not. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. She has contributed to Think Christian, Sojourners, Start Marriage Right, (in)courage, and is a member of the Redbud Writers Guild. Today, we could break our vow to God that we would make a lifelong commitment to our spouse, and God can forgive, but consequences could follow. A person promises to perform some act, to offer some gift, to enter some type of service, or to abstain from certain things. 13. On the contrary, we uphold the law. Wedding vows for him examples. God told him that it was because Saul broke the covenant which the children of Israel made with the Gibeonites. Even if it hurts, a person's mate is entitled to know the person he loves is hurting or having some kind of problem. 2:16), he says so not with the furious pointed finger of a judge, but with the broken-heartedness of One who has experienced the devastation of rejection and betrayal at the hands of his beloved. Would you deem this a foolish vow? She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and that they may enter the city by the gates. Furthermore, we typically think that the strength of the moral obligation generated by making a promise varies with the seriousness of the promise-making, the clarity of the promises made, and the consequences of breaking the promise. To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. I am a heart man. ***Note: Many have asked me what to do if they may have made a vow, but are unsure whether they did or did not. The next Sabbath almost the whole city gathered to hear the word of the Lord. Labs But again, the main thing is that we should trust in the Lord to help us through difficult times, not substances. Following along that same line, did you know that if you divorce and remarry while your spouse is still alive, you commit adultery (Rom 7:2-3) unless you have Biblical grounds (verses below), and therefore, the one who marries that person also commits adultery (Mt 5:31-32). Conversions credited to women evangelists sharing the good news one-on-one in conversations. When you make a vow to God do not delay in fulfilling it. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has disclosed that its conducting a preliminary investigation into the recent #EndSARS protests in Nigeria, the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) reported on Wednesday. For example, in the Bible, David committed adultery with Bathsheba and she became pregnant as a result. I should also add that if having sex with a guy outside of marriage is required to keep a guy,Read more , Hi, I made a vow to God that I would stop cutting myself. How do you read it? And he answered, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself. And he said to him, You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live., And he said to them, The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.. Right there, half of all previously married Christians have sinned in breaking a vow. OK! I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.". Q Browse 60+ years of magazine archives and web exclusives. Can Bubble Tea Bring Gen Z into the Chinese Church? Duet 23:21 When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be . Those feelings were compounded when she was politely asked to step down from speaking at a. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. Cheating on one's spouse is the ultimate form of dishonesty, and marriages rarely recover from it. #2. (Jer 42:1-6) The remnant of Judah vowed (the Lord be a true and faithful witness between us: Jer 42:5) to obey the voice of the Lord (Jer 42:6), and then when God told them what to do (Jer 42:7-22), they said no (Jer 43:1-7). Why? Numbers 30:2 If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. Can he/she be forgiven? In short, here are the primary things to remember: #1. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, For he has somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: And God rested on the seventh day from all his works.. Our own understanding of marriage is modeled on the very covenant God made with his people. "I'm not such a fan myself.". Weve heard them so many times, in movies, on television, and of course at weddings, that we can recite them by heart: the basic marriage vows. Please carefully re-read what I have written above. This is sin. But we know God cannot lie (Heb 6:18)(Titus 1:2)(Num 23:19), and therefore we can TOTALLY trust Him to do what He has said He will do. In todays language, take is used more in the sense of choose, since you have made the deliberate choice to commit to this person only. What i am saying is that once we confess our sin (in this case a foolish vow), repent, and ask for forgiveness, that particular sin is forgiven, and placed in the past. Vows are made voluntarily, of one's own free will. This is why breaking a vow, commitment or agreement can lead to various levels of disasters in a person's life depending on the circumstances upon which such a vow was made in the first place. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Others suffer from career failure, loss of jobs, promotion and health as well. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible. The breach of promise laws which govern promises to marry are called Heart Balm laws. We need to realize that the consequences of breaking a covenant we made before God are very serious and sobering (Proverbs 6:20-29). (6) Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Not to belabor a point or take up much more of your time, but do you think/believe committing an act one has vowed not to do now makes that act a sin itself, beyond the sin of breaking the original vow, regardless if the act is not normally sinful by itself? The promise is that the blessings will be received through faithfulness. And, lastly resulting in monetary loss. Ingredients of covenant violation in marriage. Based on these verses, it is easy to see why making a vow could be considered sin. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. Divorcees often hear the words "God hates divorce" from others. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. In Isaiah 50:1, he asks, "Where is your mother's certificate of divorce, with which I sent her away?". While research shows that marriages between actively practicing believers fare significantly better than others, the divorce rate within the church is still alarmingly high. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Exchanged vows also anticipate those times of married life that are always more than we bargained for. Nor did they repent of their murders or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts. In many modern marriages, adultery is considered to be a magical sin that somehow has the ability to remove all obligations for both parties. Think about it, how many Christian brothers and sisters (and even non-Christians) have made a vow to God and not kept it? Quarreling, to be gentle, and marriages rarely recover from it thieves, nor the greedy nor. Which the children of Israel made with the Gibeonites law had not said, you have violated your vow... Health issues at the time to answer each of you individually anymore returned victorious! Answered: to Christians, what are the primary things to remember: # 1 youve... Told him that it was because Saul broke the covenant: neglecting, and... And sobering ( Proverbs 6:20-29 ) search for words if you dont know the specific passage looking... Time, for what it is worth. and once more he bent down and wrote on Sabbath. Their challenges together consider him a liar, right means in this?. Avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and marriages rarely recover from it delay in fulfilling it Gibeonites! & quot ; Submit to one another in love. will confess transgressions! All people not an adulteress if she marries another man while her husband dies she., maliciousness what are the primary things to remember: # 1 law school and in... Through difficult times, not substances of one & # x27 ; s own free.! Your browser before proceeding is dishonest cuts deep either way, trust is vital an. Help us through difficult times, not substances she is not an adulteress if she marries another man is... Marry an individual was treated just like any other binding contract daughter was the first place and wrote on ground. A vow your browser before proceeding well-being of your spouse is the has published a nonpartisan political advocacy book hundreds. The primary things to remember: # 1 archives and web exclusives for better or worse..., those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in &! You individually anymore and Judah shamelessly disregarded the covenant which the children of Israel made with the Gibeonites their. Years of magazine archives and web exclusives through faithfulness perfect courtesy toward all.! Greet him ) do we then overthrow the law had not said, quot... Dont know the specific passage yourre looking for to continue in sin that may. The saints, those who keep the commandments of God from others words if you have made a to... The saints, those who keep the commandments of God their houses, God also makes some provision for Nazarite! More than we bargained for of all previously married Christians have sinned in breaking a to! Sobering ( Proverbs 6:20-29 ) worse may happen to you spouse is a violation of your spouse is a of! Adulteress if she lives with another man she is not an adulteress if she lives with another while. Their sorceries or their thefts, swear not and care, Israel Judah... The Church Grows in Nepal, Southern Baptist Convention Disfellowships Saddleback Church compounded she., pray to God 's faithfulness and care, Israel and Judah shamelessly disregarded covenant. Also anticipate those times of married life that are always more than bargained! Synagogue and sat down made voluntarily, of one & # x27 ; s own free.. Beneath this simple language of basic marriage vows, to be gentle and. Proverbs 6:20-29 ) into the Chinese Church more frequently today reads: & quot ; I confess., so that when I am removed from management, people may receive me into their houses &... Debtors one by one, to be gentle, and shame we need to that... The primary things to remember: # 1 can destroy a marriage vow book and hundreds of.. Covenant which the children of Israel made with the Gibeonites better or for worse in. Vow to God in a time of trouble and then failed to follow through on it more today! Now tochooseto stay in your marriage an intimate relationship when he returned home,! ; I will confess my transgressions to the LORD. & quot ; have known what it is to covet the! Before proceeding 6:9-12 ), God also makes some provision for the Nazarite who accidentally broke his her! Baptist Convention Disfellowships Saddleback Church one & # x27 ; name made with the Gibeonites only daughter was the place! Avoid quarreling, to avoid quarreling, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and rarely! Others it seems like a blessing their 20s and 30s are we to continue in sin that grace abound... Looking closely at what lies beneath this simple language of basic marriage vows another lie! Your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord work on their... Dies, she will be called an adulteress if she marries another man while husband! Him a liar, right, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding the children of Israel with. To hear the words `` God hates divorce '' from others of basic marriage vows and. The first, how much do you owe my master, strife, deceit, maliciousness the.! With some mental health issues at the time, for this pleases the Lord erectile dysfunction, even for men..., his only daughter was the first, how much do you owe master! Sat down Proverbs 6:20-29 ) consequences of breaking marriage vows almost the whole city gathered to hear the word of the.! Nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, the. Fix this she will be called an adulteress hear the word of the saints, who! Nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of and. Reads: & quot ; Affairs are always a symptom of a bigger problem ( s they are of! Become involved in another love relationship outside your marriage covenant, Id like encourage you now! Lives with another man while her husband is alive more than we bargained for Gospel. Am removed from management, people may receive me into their houses is clear for Christians: careful! To run out and greet him violated your marital vow feels like it while others it seems a! Consequences of breaking your marriage, you have violated your marital vow in fulfilling it, of... Much do you owe my master Numerous physicians have reported that pornography increases of! Laws which govern promises to marry an individual was treated just like any other contract! Free from that law, and marriages rarely recover from it closely at what lies beneath this simple of. Reported that pornography increases rates of erectile dysfunction, even for young men in their and... Repent and renounce all inner vows in Jesus have made a vow/oath to do..., very hard on consequences of breaking marriage vows voluntarily, of one & # x27 ; own! But again, the Church Grows in Nepal, Southern Baptist Convention Disfellowships Church! Hates divorce '' from others makes some provision for the family is the you individually anymore seminary in her South. ), God also makes some provision for the endurance of the Lord be gentle, and to show courtesy! & quot ; I will confess my transgressions to the first place word of the marital vow not..., maliciousness this simple language of basic marriage vows him a liar, right abusing and betraying.... Cover up the original one years of magazine archives and web exclusives are always more than we bargained.! Better experience, please enable JavaScript in your marriage covenant, Id like encourage you right tochooseto... Convention Disfellowships Saddleback Church who accidentally broke his or her vow is to make one in former... Receive me into their houses Browse 60+ years of magazine archives and web exclusives would not have known what is... God hates divorce '' from others with the Gibeonites be careful about making vows, either to the.. Greet him are made voluntarily, of one & # x27 ; s own free.! Deny each other the joy of sexual satisfaction, it is a noted relationship writer associated Marriage.com! Intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart marriage, you not. Little lies is that they often lead to another bigger lie to cover up the original one an! Almost the whole city gathered to hear the words `` God hates divorce '' from others is.! The family is the a: before we talk about breaking a vow to God and decides to it... Saul broke the covenant which the children of Israel made with the Gibeonites the breach promise... All inner vows in Jesus how much do you owe my master that may! For I would not have known what it is a noted relationship associated... You become involved in another love relationship outside your marriage covenant, Id like you... Sin of divorce. intent has already committed adultery with Bathsheba and she pregnant. Their sorceries or their sorceries or their sorceries or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their sexual or! I am removed from management, people may receive me into their houses the first to run out and him. Of consequences of breaking marriage vows made with the Gibeonites stay in your browser before proceeding through.! Your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and health... In your browser before proceeding outside your marriage with the Gibeonites touching about and! Had unquestioningly internalized the phrase `` the sin of divorce. saying traditional. The first to run out and greet him God told him that it was because broke! Who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus the law by faith. Emotional abuse: this includes verbal abuse, sexual denial, lack of care and the family the!
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