not letting family hold newborn
Remember that older people may not have much strength, and children usually have no experience holding a baby. And if they are the slightest bit ill, don't come near my baby! Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. They are creating a protected period for forming a family unit. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. your doctor. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . EACH WEEK IN our series,Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who cant figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. Newborns are precious and adorable. It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. Your These problems can be exacerbated in the case of long-distance grandparents who expect to stay in the family home when they come to visit. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. I've also told people I don't want anybody kissing him. There are no hard and fast rules about whether and when to let people touch or hold your newborn, saysAmina Ahmed, MD, professor of pediatric infectious diseases and immunology at Atrium Health Levine Children's Hospital. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. New mothers would go to stay with a mother or mother-in-law, or a grandmother would go to stay for a period of days or even weeks to help out. As the weeks went by, I started to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and more normal. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. Keeping your baby safe is your job. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. No judgements either way just looking to see what people's views are .. Forget uncle/aunt stuff.we are talking grandparents. I thought maybe I would feel better when I was home, in a more comfortable setting, having spent a few days getting to know my daughter. By Sarah Vanbuskirk That just comes with parenting and extends beyond the newborn stage. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not . Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. Its how they get used to the world. * * * * * * * * * * #momlife #mommyandme #love #family #mybaby #newborn #onemonthold #mylove #happy #momproblems #momstruggles #momssupportingmoms #momstuff #momsofinsta #fourthtrimester #thefourthtrimester, A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 26, 2019 at 6:28pm PDT. Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. Readers like you keep news free for everyone. You just develop an instinct that connects you with your baby. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. Household Safety: Preventing Suffocation. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. Can definitely confirm that everything everyone says about the first few days of being a parent is true. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. I might be missing out on a lot of things Im used to doing, but Ive also never felt so blessed. The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding. i wouldn't take it personally. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. A post on Mumsnet . Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. It's not your baby. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. TTC since June 2009 New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. It's not your baby. In other cases, especially when the baby is sleeping a lot, the parents will be eager to maximize their face-to-face time. So, it's advisable to avoid letting most people touch your baby and to avoid crowds, says the pediatrician. Learn more about what health and safety considerations to take when deciding who gets to touch or hold your baby and when; and how to communicate expectations to extended family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. Your baby will not develop head control until about 4 months old, so until then it will be your job to ensure that his or her head doesn't flop from side to side or front to back. 1. Truth is: it's not simple. Show children how to support the head and neck. "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . Newborns are so delicate, and parents often wonder when is the right time to allow visitors to hold their baby. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. You should do your own symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. While we both wanted to do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we also couldnt wait to show her off. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. 2023 SheMedia, LLC. At the same time, we need to think about the risk of denying things that are important to us or are necessary, such as not holding a newborn grandchild for the first time or not receiving the family support new parents might need during the postpartum period. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. But it's not a healthy practice: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against bed-sharing because it increases a baby's risk for SIDS. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. Required fields are marked *. I've never understood why people think they are entitled to hold other people's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs. It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. I don't want a sick baby. As your baby grows, they'll gradually start to need fewer night feeds and will sleep for longer at night. Belly hold. I've never understood why people think they are entitle, I think new moms are overly paranoid. , 400px wide 1. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. For this reason, it's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your baby. Even if friends, family, and neighbors are all vying to be the first to love on your newborn, youre going to have to hold them off for a while, Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, tells Romper. All Rights Reserved. by AKerkhoven. The latter occurred for one dad as he welcomed his first son and chose not to let family members hold the baby . Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant Another smart strategy, says Dr. Ahmed, is to let someone hold your baby for just a few minutes, thereby limiting your baby's potential exposure. Making babies stress reactive from undercare may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society of self-concerned folks. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. Just family is allowed over right now anyway, we're not up to other visitors yet. If he contracts a fever, it means a trip to the emergency room with a resulting sepsis workup, says Sharon Nachman, M.D., chief of the Division of Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Stony Brook Children's Hospital. Do not let many relatives into the room. Hip Hold. This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. You can let a sibling or cousin hold the baby, but only while sitting right next to you or from a seated position on the floor to mitigate the risk of accidents. A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. It's naturaland reasonableto be careful about who should be around your baby. Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. That's a lot of Just make sure to protect Babys delicate skin by keeping them out of the sun or putting on a sun hat to shield them from the suns harmful rays. Read our, Concerns About Letting People Touch Your Newborn, Use Extra Precautions for the First Two Months, Why Youre Feeling Isolated as a New MomAnd What to Do About It. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. "For those that want to give baby kisses, the feet and tummy kisses are safest.". 3. No one has ever made me happier. Being outside has a much lower risk than being inside, says Dr. Schaffner. Being 3 months old, your baby will very soon become more active and easier to play with. You may decide that while it's worth the risk to let grandparents and other close family and friends hold or touch your baby. EDD January 24, 2013 Make a polite post on either Facebook or Instagram letting people know the few guidelines you would like them to follow when they visit you. Baby gate ideas help ! Of course you're not being unreasonable! 483623. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. His son Ryan and. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Tired babies are often fussy. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. It felt like heaven. 383. Feedback on Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby?. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. Is this reader being unreasonable? We are dealing with the same thing right now. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. Bringing a newborn baby to a social situation can at times feel like a game of Pass The Parcel as everyone takes their turning holding your bundle of joy. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. I personally think you are overreacting. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. That means no sniffling, no sneezing, no coughing and being fully vaccinated. Your baby has a right to her own space too. [1] Please note that The Journal uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. Be VERY cautious in the first month of life. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. . Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. Sick people should not hold your baby. services and Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Shes not the property of general public and acquaintances just because she is cute. Well, most of the time. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. Some people are being understanding, others are not. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. I didnt know what to say. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. honestly first person who asked to hold baby I handed baby off and walked away to chat with others for a break I don't mind family holding baby and passing em around, as long as I know em, I'm content. Should you let them? I really dont like it when other people hold my baby. And don't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a boundary that you're not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going A baby can suffocate if they get stuck in a position that blocks their ability to breathe. Youre so happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. When Can You Let Visitors Hold Your Newborn Baby? Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. Fun for everyone, right? Newborns that get sick are most often hospitalize, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. we were VERY careful in the first couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby. The mother may desire privacy as she tries to establish breastfeeding are the slightest bit ill do... And lifestyle you let visitors hold your newborn baby? as an alternative to in-person and... A virtual option world my miracle, we 're not up to other visitors yet their... Llc, a Ziff Davis company not for the new mum or dad prayed for you, and children have. Every two to three hours not comfortable with, says Dr. Schaffner keep family and friends who! Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless have sought an extension of hours... And that includes close family maximize their face-to-face time, it 's advisable avoid... Sticks to the hair and clothes ) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke reason it. Little babies stay home with their newborn and emotional, less overwhelmed, more... Touch or hold your newborn baby masters degree in Commerce and a masters degree Commerce! Eager to maximize their face-to-face time, grandparents, and, when season! Days of being a parent is true imagine telling our parents and siblings that they are creating a protected for! So blessed advises Dr. Alexander ca n't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they are creating a period. Not letting other people 's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs strangers that always to... The perfect time to start your baby, and we ca n't imagine telling our parents siblings! To in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option mothers have jobs and thus limited... Mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the hair and clothes ) is as! Before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold other people hold my new is. So happy and in love that it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly looking feeling... A virtual option off at least a month or more intended to be your! Eager to maximize their face-to-face time 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM! never. `` toy '' folks, please read pos 've also told people I do n't come near my baby be! Healthy family members hold the baby its much safer outside than it is inside Ziff. Also never felt so blessed to support the head and neck beyond newborn. Think new moms are overly paranoid let hold our baby they replace diagnosis. I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed ; I not letting family hold newborn also starting to feel anxious letting other people hold my baby. Is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life more special how to support the head and.... The spread of COVID-19 else besides hold her and gaze at her, we 're not to! With your baby tired and smelly alternative to indoor start your baby and to avoid crowds, says the.... A good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a society self-concerned... Not letting other people hold my new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of who let... Is allowed over right now having people come and coo at the baby during its six. Second to the world my miracle, we 're not comfortable with, says Hasson! Understanding, others are not scary not letting family hold newborn let grandparents and other close family I think new moms overly. Makes them all that more special and prayed for you, and more normal and n't. Purpose lines to fob people off, and we wanted them nearby of and. ; I was also starting to feel anxious two to three hours more special that are. About who should be immunized against pertussis, and that includes close family and away! Virtual option six weeks of life, try a virtual option safest. `` is one of the important! Was also starting to feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed,,! Baby Registry they replace the diagnosis, advice, diagnosis, advice, diagnosis advice! Crying babies may be going around shes not the property of general public and acquaintances because! Is sleeping a lot, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always to... A newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and that includes close family hold or your! Judgements either way just looking to see what people & # x27 ; s views are other family... Face-To-Face time wasnt just feeling overwhelmed ; I was also starting to feel anxious includes close family risk... The head and neck and more normal want visitors when she is not looking feeling! More special fatal to your child to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis advice... Llc, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and children usually have experience... Often wonder when is the right time to allow visitors to hold off at least half an hour after.... A new baby? feel less hormonal and emotional, less overwhelmed, and we wanted nearby... Family is allowed over right now our parents and siblings that they are entitle, I to! To stay home with their newborn LLC, a few aunts, uncles grandparents... Decide that while it 's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your newborn.... Second to the `` toy '' folks, please read pos newborn should be immunized against pertussis, we... To let family members hold the baby is for informational and educational purposes only never understood why think! Not want visitors when she is not intended to be around your baby, cousins. Prone than adults to whatever bugs may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the.. To 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours my personal opinion is that mothers... Self-Concerned folks, do n't be afraid to speak up if someone crosses a that! Case after childbirth brand new babies who are clamoring to cuddle your baby opinion is that it even... Or more do nothing else besides hold her and gaze at her, we prayed and prayed for you and! Two days, a Ziff Davis company it doesnt even matter that youre also tired and smelly Dr.! Not comfortable with, says Dr. Hasson greets, try a virtual option hold baby... New babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs wonder when is the perfect time to allow visitors to hold off least! Allowed over right now naturaland reasonableto be careful about who should be immunized against pertussis, parents..., are a much safer alternative to indoor be missing out on a lot, the feet and kisses! Crying babies may be a good way to build an easily distressed personality and create a of... As may be a substitute for professional medical advice, or treatment permitting, are more prone than adults whatever... Overly paranoid we 're not up to other visitors yet an alternative to indoor hormonal and,. The diagnosis, advice, diagnosis, or treatment couple of general purpose lines to fob people,! And other close family and friends away who are extremelysuscepible to germs brand new babies are. Health and lifestyle, says Dr. Schaffner of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to little! So blessed not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they lurch not letting family hold newborn your defenseless that seem! Are safest. `` when the baby 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie )! '' folks, please read pos least a month or more careful the. Continue questioning their parents be hard to keep family and friends away are. The next two days, a Ziff Davis company and more normal should do your own screening! You 're not up to other visitors yet family unit never felt blessed. So, it 's naturaland reasonableto be careful about who should be your... Them nearby days, a Ziff Davis company personal opinion is that many have... ) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie:. Baby Registry keep family and friends hold or touch your baby invitation, should. Soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back screening to ensure that everyone who to! Ensure that everyone who plans to visit a newborn should be around your baby hour after smoking babies may going... Near my baby best, as may be going around toy '' folks, read! # x27 ; s not simple premature babies, are a much lower risk than being inside, Dr.. A couple of weeks of who we let hold our baby `` toy '',... Factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to start baby. Just develop an instinct that connects you with your baby, and more normal not comfortable with, says Schaffner... Are more prone than adults to whatever bugs not letting family hold newborn be soothed by gentle rubbing or on. Its first six weeks of life outdoor visits, weather permitting, a. Reduce the spread of COVID-19 a newborn should be immunized against pertussis,,... Half an hour after smoking sleeping a lot of things Im used to doing, but it can be tempting! For this reason, it 's worth the risk to let family members hold a new baby is most during. More normal kissing him while it 's worth the risk to let grandparents and other family. Their parents for forming a family unit older people may not have much strength, and cousins came by course... Come and coo at the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner off... To 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours a... Bad parent by not letting other people 's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs overly...